Tuesday, June 5, 2012

The Nanny Misconceptions

You probably read the post and are thinking of one of these things (or something similar):

Now Be Prepared:
This post is not about either of those three TV shows.  This is not an angry post, but it is a rather frustrated post.  Let me correct some common misconceptions for you about being a nanny.  And then for once, I'd like everyone to SHUSH unless they are 1) a mother who has employed a nanny, 2) a nanny themselves for over 2 years, 3) or someone with something nice to say.

The Misconceptions:
1)Nannying is not a real job.
What is a 'real job'?  A job where you work 12 hours a day?  A job where you make at least $10- an hour? A job where you work 3-5 days a week?  A job with benefits, dental, insurance, gas compensation, and a company vehicle to drive around?  If you say yes, you are an idiot.  Because rarely EVER will you find a job THAT great ANYWHERE in America....OH WAIT!  Unless you are a nanny.

2) You won't make any money being a nanny.
That is just silly.  I make way more money being a nanny (and always have) than at any other position I have ever worked.  I have also had a lot more hours available to me.

3) Mothers who employ nannies are selfish and are not maternal or nurturing.
This makes me furious when people say this.  Who are you to say about some mother that you've never met that she is selfish and not maternal or nurturing?  People say this to me all the time, and it is complete and utter garbage.  So some 18 year-old-girl decided to go to medical school because her parents pressured her, she didn't know that in her future she would marry some guy and have a couple adorable children!  What do you want her to do?  She has to pay her bills now!  Does she love her kids any LESS?  NO!  I have met WAY more stay at home & homeschooled moms that are less  nurturing or maternal to their children than mothers with nannies.  This is some sad myth someone made up to make themselves feel better, and it is a lie.  If you saw the way it makes a mother's heart break to leave her two-month-old baby in the arms of someone else because she had to go to work to pay off a debt she never thought she'd have, you'd know different.

4) Children will grow to be wild, unstable, and uncontrollable without their parents with them everyday.
Obviously children need their parents.  But a parent is NOT "abandoning" their child because they leave them with a nanny to work.  If the child is wild, unstable, and uncontrollable WITH the nanny, the odds are the child is a undisciplined and the same way WITH THE PARENTS.  You would be surprised the measures a parent goes through to get a really great and reliable nanny who will actually create good habits in their children and uphold the parents standards when they are working.  And also -- children with a full time nanny since birth, are completely accustomed to having a nanny and a 'third and movable parent' and they for the most part love it.  If a child is used to someone else being there, they aren't going to act any different when the nanny is caring for them.

5) Nannies are an un-needed profession in modern America.
Yes, that would be true if every single nurse, engineer, doctor, designer, dentist, etc. decided to just stay home with their family forever.  I definitely see the value of being a stay-at-home mother, and it is a beautiful thing....but you know what?  These mothers ALSO see the value of being a stay at home mother, but sometimes they don't have a choice, or they didn't even realize they had a choice when they choice their major right out of highschool.  So no matter if you like it or not, we don't live in the dark ages, and women have professions, and because of that, there are nannies, and probably always will be nannies.  Get used to it and stop harassing these poor mothers.

My Final Comments:
I am very sick of hearing people throwing out their 'opinions' on nannies, families with nannies, and especially the mothers who employ nannies.  You are personally uninformed and inexperienced, and hence forming uniformed and inexperienced thoughts about such things.  So maybe it is time you stop telling other people how to care for their families, and focus your time and energy on taking care of your own family.

If you have anything nice or encouraging to say, I'd love to hear it (if you don't, keep it to yourself).

I really do love you all, but I'd also like to see some mercy extended from these stay-at-home mothers, to those mothers not enjoying such a beautiful thing!  Encourage those mothers, don't tear them down and rip them apart!  Help them think of ways to enjoy real quality time with their children when they are at home!  Help them!  They love their kids just as much as you, and they are as maternal, and loving, and nurturing, and they want the best for their babies!  And sometimes -- that means hiring a really great nanny to care for those children.

Love you all.  Find someone to encourage today, okay?
(Who just happens to have been a nanny
for the last 5 years and loving it)

1 comment:

  1. I agree.

    As a stay-at-home mother, I am thankful that I have been granted the privilege to have this opportunity to stay home with my children. But, not everyone is me. Each mother is different. Each family situation is different. As a parent, we all make sacrifices for our children and make decisions that are best for "our" children. Those same decisions could actually be harmful in someone else's situation.

    If I had to go to work, I would actually prefer using a nanny to a daycare when it came to childcare. Finding someone who will uphold the values and habits I am trying to teach my children would be wonderful if I had to leave the home to work. I am not saying mothers who use daycare are terrible mothers either. We are each trying our hardest to do the best for our children given our situation.